Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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