There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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