ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
