i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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