My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
