what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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