i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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