tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize