She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
