Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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