Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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