The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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