no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
