There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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