SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
