Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
