there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize