Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
