I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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