Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
