a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
