But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
