Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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