he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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