Your mouth is God's brothel.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
