what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
