Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
