ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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