You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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