So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize