Already got asked if we're dating
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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