been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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