I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
