After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Panties = found
Randomize