i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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