so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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