Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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