I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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