her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
