i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
