You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
