Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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