it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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