dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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