we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize