Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
