We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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