Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
