nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
