You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
