can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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