my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
