ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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