how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
