By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
