have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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