He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
