thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
