toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
