And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
