Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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