I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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