Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Terrible idea I love it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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