Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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