You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Found your dick twin last night
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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