im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
